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    작성일 : 18-05-18 15:20
    [꼭읽어볼내용] 불륜 사람을 도구로 활용해서야 되겠습니까? (행복연구소 외도상담)
     글쓴이 : 행복연구소
    조회 : 13,217  

    불륜에 빠진 사람들은 이루어질 수 없는 사랑, 금지된 사랑, 영원히 가슴에 간직할 추억 등.. 겉으로 보이게 그럴듯하고 애틋한 감미로운단어들을 가져다 붙여 자신들의 행위를 정당화 하려고 합니다

    상대를 위해 많은 희생을 감수하고서라도 숭고하고 절대적인 사랑을 지키고 있는 듯 착각하기 때문입니다

    물론 겉으로 보기에는 두 번 다시 없을 특별한 애정을 나누는 것처럼 보일 수 있겠습니다

    현상으로는 사랑하는 남녀의 애정행각이 고스란히 이루어지고 있으니까요

    그러나 내면의 심리를 보면 극도의 스트레스 상황에서 무언가를 통해 해소하고 싶은 심리와 심각한 상처의 상황에서 무언가를 통해 위로 받고 싶은 심리의 착각된 작용이 일어나는 것이라고 할 수 있습니다.

    좀 더 쉽게 바꾸어 말하면 굳이 그 사람이 아니더라도 같은 행위를 할 수 있는 대상이 있다면 그것이 물건이 됐든, 다른 사람이 됐든 언제든지 바뀔 수 있다는 말입니다. 좀 더 강력한 자극제가 들어온다면 더 말할 필요도 없겠지요

    아무리 자신의 처지가 불안정하고 힘들다고 하더라도 사람을 힐링의 도구로 생각해서야 되겠습니까? 적어도 인간이라면 존중까지는 아니더라도 상대에 대한 최소한의 도리는 지켜주는 것이 예의일것입니다

    외도 상담을 하다보니, 불륜이 들통나 주변 사람들 모두가 함께 무너지는 경우를 많이 봅니다. 그들의 착각대로 그것이 사랑이라면, 모두가 초토화 되더라도 정작 당사자는 서로의 존재만으로도 행복해야 하는데 그렇지 못합니다.

     ‘어쩌다 일이 이렇게까지 되었을까.’부터 시작해서 내 자신이 너무 싫다.’는 생각까지.. 후회와 자책, 또 다시 이 상황을 벗어나고 싶은 회피의 마음 같은 온통 부정적인 심리가 그들의 삶을 뒤덮을 뿐입니다

    어디에서도 떳떳할 수 없는 몰래하는 사랑(?)에 오늘도 애절한 하루를 보내고 계신가요? 그렇다면 생각해 보시기 바랍니다

    재미에 빠진 나와 너말고 이런 행위를 통해 행복할 수 있는 누군가가 과연 내 주변에 존재하는지... 

    만약 행복은 커녕 모두의 불행을 예고하는 것이라면 다시 원점으로 돌아가 관계를 돌아 보시기 바랍니다

    만약 상대에 대한 좋은 감정이 나의 결핍을 채워주는 도구로 사용되고 있다면 힐링의 도구로 활용되는 감정 따위에 감히 사랑이라는 단어을 붙여서는 안 될 것입니다


    jerry 20-11-20 10:50
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    linda 20-11-20 12:26
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    ernest 20-11-27 17:12
    답변 삭제  
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